Friendship is one of those topics that regardless of the lines being written on the matter, never seems to really answer all the questions, in fact, it constantly raises new ones due to hectic modern lifestyle and, as it looks like, the change in values as well. The unthinkable possibilities of communication and the very overuse of the term “friend” made me think about the things a friend would (not) do to you. Of course, everyone can bring his own conclusions, and here are some of the mine.
A friend would (not)…
Said petty lies
We have all been there, in tricky situations in which, in desire to preserve peace at home, were forced to say or do things which we wouldn’t done if circumstances were different. Time would show if we did the right thing. However, some situations show that superficial personal interests direct one’s behavior too much. And then there are situations in which people deny a compliment from someone about their looks for example or some specific behavior which results in communication gap instead of new possibilities which could enrich our life. Competitiveness forces us to give our best, to excel, but this surely doesn’t mean we should use all weapons available and be mean. This will only alienate us from others and we’ll end up with a friend less if we there are any more left.
Make sacrifice for you
We all say and believe probably that a friend in need is a friend indeed. But, would a true friend make a sacrifice for us? Really, would he? With so many luxurious material goods at hand blinding us to such extent we cannot move an inch if that is not convenient for us at the precise moment, not even if friendship is at stake. We are guided by some stupid phrases like “Everyone is entitled to…” without really knowing what does it really mean. It’s like we claim that anarchy is the only way to rule. A true friend is ALWAYS ready to leave his interests aside and help his friend in need or get him out of some kind of trouble, but that’s a whole another story. We don’t pick our family members, but we choose our friends, they are extended arms of that cozy feeling of safety.
Helped without expecting nothing in return
We’ll all help someone if that suits us. Okay. We are not crazy to give someone a hand if this person will reproach us or God forbid, harm us in an attempt to showcase a strong “no”. However, engage in the very act of helping thinking that one day this will pay off one way or another is a pure trade. It doesn’t matter if it is about money, material compensation, good deeds, whatever, the rule is always the same and there is no friendship at all, only pure interest.
Necessarily agree with your choice / taste
When it comes to something material, tangible, sometimes not even we know exactly what we want or search for, but there are always people who may know it better. There is nothing wrong in asking for an advice instead of doubling something that doesn’t even fit our personality. Don’t be ashamed of being you and don’t forget that a true friend respects diversity.
Be ready to talk and to – forgive
Who needs enemies when he has friends? This is one of the proverbs we think of when somebody disappoints us, but how we deal with this? Do we deal with this? Though words can be deadly and cannot be brought back, talk is the only way to solve the whole situation. But, we need to know how to talk, be honest and admit the fact that we are not always right. We often lack humidity, which is not to be confused with humiliation which people often do. Humiliation is born when we fail to recognize the boundaries of human dignity and this is something one should bear in mind. A conversation may help us realize things that go beyond our knowledge and are much deeper than we first thought but which have, for some (unknown reason to us) significantly influenced our friendship. We should be ready to forgive our friend, but ourselves too which, I know, can be much harder. Life is really too short to be wasted in bitterness and resentment when so many nice things are there to enjoy and in two is always – sweeter.
Translation: G. Dujmović