No breakup is easy and we all know that. For the first couple of days, we need time to adjust to this new situation. However, if you’re sure you want him back, you need to be aware of certain things before doing anything about it. And when you finally manage to bring him back, another question will pop up – how can you keep him? If you have broken up once, you have every reason to doubt it could happen again.
Okay, you want him back, but first take care of yourself
Take the first couple of days after a breakup just for yourself. After the breakup we are emotional and it’s impossible to think rationally. Allow your partner, but yourself too, some rest. If you start texting immediately after you broke up, you could achieve reverse effect. There are several clever ways to bring him back. But you need to spend several days or weeks working on yourself. Relationship problems drain energy and that is the first thing you should restore. Most mistakes we do after a breakup are driven by instinct. We feel an irresistible urge to get in contact with our ex-partner so we do that. Sadly, this often results in tears and more anger.
Bring him back
So, the first mistake you should like to avoid is to call or send any messages, women tend to be worse in following this “rule” than men, and instinct is to blame. If your ex-partner doesn’t call or write you back, don’t fall into temptation by sending him hundreds of messages in order to prove him your love. This move will do exactly the opposite – it’ll send a signal in the sense ‘I’m miserable and I want you back’. Nobody finds this attractive, it’s even repellent. And alcohol or any other stimulants shouldn’t be an excuse. We all probably know how ugly can any communication turn out in such a state.
“I can’t live without you” show
A move that can be anything but good. Your partner won’t return to you if you are miserable. Who wants to be with a miserable person? Besides, even if you succeed and bring him back, it will be only for the sake of pity and you must ask yourself is it what you really want? You want him back, but not under the price of your dignity.
Overwhelm with tenderness
Overwhelming with tenderness, love declarations and similar won’t be of much help at the moment. Fine, it may help if a person you broke up with didn’t get it before a breakup, but if he has left you for any other reason, then leave outpouring of affection for some other time. He must have known you love him and yet, he still broke up. Thus, your declaration of love won’t change a bit.
Not a letter or a postcard!
This is exactly right! Don’t answer his calls or messages. You won’t be doing anything wrong by this. Au contraire, you’ll give your ex-partner a chance to realize how much you miss him, especially when he doesn’t hear or see you. You’ll give him a chance to wonder what have you been doing (read: ‘make him paranoid’), who are you spending your time with and why you are not answering him to any of his calls. If you’ve, by any chance, sent him a message, there is nothing else to do but wait for an answer. Uncontrollable texting surely won’t give the desirable effect.
A nail dislodges a nail
For a start, remember one thing. This is normal. It is how some people deal with a breakup. In fact, most people do. You know the saying “A nail dislodges a nail”. But, the fact remains, this is not the way to achieve anything. Don’t panic. The first thing you’ll think of doing is right on our list of the things we’ve said you not to do. Refrain yourself. If your ex is dating someone, it doesn’t mean he has forgotten all about you. It could mean that he finds your breakup too difficult to handle too. After a while spent in other relationship, he may realize that he is not feeling fulfilled by that relationship. Of course, this happens only if your relationship was really a good one and providing that the other person wasn’t the reason for your breakup.
What if he forgets me?
One of the things which probably crosses your mind is the thinking – this is totally stupid. If he is with somebody else and you had a solid relationship, there is no reason not to say him hello, it is equal to a death sentence. The fact is your beloved one won’t forget so easily what you two once had. Your absence may help him realize he misses you, but texting or calling him obsessively may call for a restraining order. The first option gives you at least some hope. And if he forgets you, it means he is not the right for you and it would be best for you to move on. You can’t force anyone to love you.
Another way of bringing him back is to show him you can have a good time on your own. If you meet him somewhere at some time in future, you need to look attractive and full of energy. Always start from yourself. You want him back but not at any price. Don’t let anyone treat you badly. If you are interested in seeing what to do when he finally decides to get back together, read in some of our next articles. By then, focus on yourself and enjoy your freedom.
Translation: G. Dujmović